Gar Love

Waves move through me as I float a few hundred yards out in West Bay, breathing toward the next dive.

Shadows shift between the rays of light, seeming to expand and slow.

A bright object appears in my peripheral vision, inches from my face. A leaf maybe, or a small stick.

But it is moving, deliberately…

In that moment when you first sense the presence of another, alien, awareness – and that you are the focus of it’s strange attention – theres an interesting gap, a sort of bardo of recognition. A startling intimacy wherein you see and feel a thing before naming and ‘knowing about’ kick in and insulate you from the moment.

Its a measure of how relaxed I was that I didn’t completely freak out.

This little gar swam directly beneath me and seemed to know that it’s color scheme went well with my monofin.

It waited patiently while I reeled in my float, unzipped the bag and grabbed my camera, happily chomping at the bubbles I made as I struggled.

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Gar are by no means common in west bay, in fact until now I’d seen only one, many years ago.

This one was convinced that I was an excellent thing under which to lurk. So much so that it was hard to get good angles for pictures – with the fish doggedly pursuing my monofin as I chased my own tail trying to line up a shot.

At one point it began to swim away. When I followed and caught up with it, it stopped, turned and formed up with me again.

I think of their strangely docile behavior as linked with the fact that their species goes back to when rayed fins were a novelty.

Maybe it gives them a different relationship with time, and identity.

A wave, not a particle.

They’ve got a whole different set of boundaries than other fish. They’d rather you didn’t touch them, but if they are checking you out they like to get really really close. They don’t spook off random movements like most other fish.

After a good long while the little gar seemed to understand I was not the stationary lurking station it was looking for and sauntered off.

Its amazing what shows up sometimes, right out of the blue..